Why Helping Professions Attract People Pleasers with Histories of Trauma
If you work in the caring professions — as a support worker, nurse, counsellor, or therapist — you might notice something interesting about yourself or your colleagues. Many people drawn to these roles have a strong desire to help others, often going above and beyond. But beneath this compassionate drive, there can sometimes be a deeper story — one shaped by personal histories of trauma and the tendency to be a “people pleaser.”
Who Are People Pleasers?
People pleasers are those who often prioritise others’ needs and feelings over their own. They seek approval and avoid conflict, sometimes to their own detriment. This can come from:
Growing up in environments where love or safety felt conditional
Learning early to “keep the peace” by making others happy
Feeling responsible for others’ emotions or wellbeing
While these traits can create skilled, empathetic helpers, they can also mask unmet needs and unresolved wounds.
Why Do People With Trauma Often Choose Helping Careers?
Many people who have experienced trauma — whether childhood abuse, neglect, loss, or other painful experiences — develop a heightened sensitivity to suffering. This can inspire a strong desire to protect and support others, sometimes as a way to:
Find meaning or purpose in their own pain
Create safety in environments they couldn’t control before
Rebuild self-worth through acts of kindness and care
Helping others can feel deeply rewarding and healing. It’s a way to transform past hurt into something positive.
The Risks: Burnout and Boundaries
However, people pleasers and trauma survivors in caring roles may face unique challenges:
Difficulty saying no: Feeling responsible for everyone can lead to taking on too much.
Neglecting their own needs: Constantly focusing on others can leave little time for self-care.
Emotional exhaustion: Absorbing others’ pain without sufficient support or boundaries increases risk of burnout.
Re-triggering trauma: Working with vulnerable people can sometimes bring up their own unresolved feelings.
Recognising these risks is vital for sustainable, healthy care work.
Healing Through Awareness and Support
The good news is that therapy and self-awareness can help people pleasers and trauma survivors in helping professions:
Understand and honour their own needs without guilt
Build strong boundaries to protect their wellbeing
Develop healthier ways to give and receive support
Recognise when to seek help or take breaks
Supervision, peer support, and ongoing training also play important roles in maintaining resilience.
You’re Not Alone — And Your Compassion Is a Strength
If you’re a nurse, support worker, counsellor, or other helping professional with a history of trauma or a tendency to people please, know that your experience is common. Your empathy and dedication come from a place of deep understanding, even if it sometimes feels overwhelming.
By caring for yourself as much as you care for others, you can continue to make a meaningful difference — not just for those you support, but for your own healing journey too.
