What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
The term spiritual bypassing was coined by psychologist John Welwood. He described it as:
“Using spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
In other words, it’s when spirituality is used not to heal, but to avoid uncomfortable feelings, trauma, or reality itself.
Spiritual bypassing isn’t always conscious. Most people who do it aren’t being malicious—they’re just trying to survive. But left unexamined, it can become a way of numbing ourselves, denying our humanity, or staying stuck in patterns that harm ourselves and others.
Common Signs of Spiritual Bypassing
Minimizing pain with spiritual platitudes ("You chose this life," "It’s all karma")
Avoiding anger or grief because it’s seen as “low vibration”
Judging others for not being “positive enough” or “enlightened”
Detaching too quickly from difficult emotions by going into meditation or “oneness”
Over-identifying with the higher self while neglecting the wounded inner child
Using spiritual status to avoid accountability ("I’m beyond that now")
Bypassing trauma work in favor of transcendence or bliss
These strategies can feel soothing in the short term—but over time, they create disconnection from self, others, and the messy, beautiful reality of being human.
Why “Love and Light” Isn’t Always Enough
Love and light can be powerful forces. But when they’re used as a shield against discomfort, they lose their depth.
True love includes grief, anger, heartbreak, and shadow.
True light doesn’t blind—it illuminates what’s been hidden.
A healing path includes joy and sorrow, clarity and confusion. Skipping over the hard parts doesn’t bring us closer to wholeness—it fragments us further.
What’s the Harm in Bypassing?
While it may feel like progress, spiritual bypassing can:
Delay real healing by suppressing unresolved trauma or emotions
Create shame around feeling “negative” or “unenlightened”
Alienate others who are still in pain and need empathy, not correction
Reinforce spiritual superiority that isolates rather than connects
Undermine therapeutic work by dismissing the psychological roots of suffering
And perhaps most importantly, it prevents us from knowing and loving our whole selves—not just the polished or peaceful parts.
Moving Toward Real Integration
Healing isn’t about choosing between psychology and spirituality—it’s about allowing them to meet.
To move beyond spiritual bypassing, we need to:
Feel our feelings fully—even the “ugly” or “unspiritual” ones
Grieve what needs grieving
Hold ourselves accountable without shame
Work with a grounded therapist or guide who welcomes your full humanity
Integrate the body, not just the mind or spirit
Welcome the shadow, not just the light
This is what real spirituality looks like: messy, embodied, grounded, and rooted in compassion.
Spirituality That Heals, Not Hides
True spiritual practice invites us to face—not flee—what hurts. It teaches us that pain is not a sign of failure, but a doorway to greater depth and authenticity.
We can hold both love and rage. Both wisdom and wounding. Both the divine and the deeply human.
The goal isn’t to “rise above” life.
It’s to enter it more fully.
With open eyes. With an open heart.
With truth, not bypass.
