What Is EMDR and How Can It Help Me?
EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing. It is a form of psychotherapy designed to help people recover from trauma, distressing experiences, and emotional wounds that continue to affect them in the present.
Many people come to EMDR because they feel stuck. They may understand what happened to them logically, but their body and emotions still react as if the past is happening now. EMDR works by helping the brain and nervous system fully process these experiences so they no longer carry the same emotional charge.
EMDR does not involve analysing problems endlessly or trying to force yourself to think differently. Instead, it helps the brain do what it was naturally designed to do — heal.
Where EMDR Comes From
EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro in the late 1980s. She discovered that certain types of eye movements appeared to reduce the emotional intensity of distressing thoughts.
This led to the development of a structured therapy that uses bilateral stimulation — usually eye movements, tapping, or tones — to help the brain reprocess unresolved experiences.
Since then, EMDR has been extensively researched and is now widely used around the world.
Why Trauma and Distress Can Get Stuck
Under normal circumstances, when something upsetting happens, the brain gradually processes the experience. It becomes something that happened in the past.
But when an experience is overwhelming, frightening, or happens when we feel powerless, the nervous system may not fully process it.
Instead, the experience remains stored in a raw, unintegrated form.
This can show up as:
Anxiety
Panic
Flashbacks
Emotional overwhelm
Chronic shame
Low self-worth
Physical tension or pain
Feeling stuck in old patterns
Even when you know logically that you are safe, your body may still react as if the danger is present.
EMDR helps resolve this.
How EMDR Works
During EMDR, you briefly bring to mind a distressing memory, feeling, or belief while simultaneously engaging in bilateral stimulation, such as following the therapist’s fingers with your eyes.
This activates the brain’s natural processing system.
Over time, the memory begins to change.
Not in the sense that facts are erased, but in how it feels.
People often notice that:
The emotional intensity reduces
The memory feels more distant
New insights emerge naturally
The body relaxes
The experience becomes something that happened, rather than something that is still happening.
What EMDR Can Help With
EMDR is best known for treating trauma, but it can help with many issues, including:
Childhood trauma and neglect
Abuse
Anxiety and panic
PTSD and complex trauma
Low self-esteem
Shame
Phobias
Grief and loss
Fibromyalgia and other stress-related physical conditions
Persistent emotional patterns that do not shift with talking alone
It is particularly helpful when problems feel rooted in past experience rather than just present circumstances.
EMDR Works with the Nervous System, Not Just the Mind
Many therapies work primarily through thinking and talking. EMDR also works directly with the nervous system.
This is important because trauma is not just stored as thoughts. It is stored in the body, emotions, and implicit memory.
This is why people often say:
“I know it’s over, but it still feels real.”
EMDR helps the body and brain update that experience.
You Do Not Lose Control
One common fear is that EMDR will be overwhelming.
In reality, EMDR is done carefully and gradually. A good therapist ensures you have the stability and resources needed before processing difficult material.
You remain fully aware and in control throughout.
You are not made to relive anything against your will.
What Healing Feels Like
People often describe the effects of EMDR as:
Feeling lighter
Less triggered by things that used to affect them
Greater calm and stability
Reduced anxiety
Increased confidence
Feeling more like themselves
Memories remain, but they lose their emotional grip.
EMDR Does Not Change Who You Are
It does not remove your personality or your history.
It simply removes the emotional wounds that no longer need to be carried.
Many people discover that beneath anxiety, shame, or fear, there is a version of themselves that was always there — but had been hidden by protective responses.
The Mind and Body Can Heal
When something overwhelms you, the nervous system adapts to protect you.
EMDR helps it recognise that the danger has passed.
Healing does not happen by forcing yourself to forget.
It happens by allowing the brain to finish what it could not finish at the time.
EMDR provides a way for that process to happen.
